Who the fuck ever said that girls can’t kick ass? Well, not only can they kick ass at being kick ass, they can kick ass at being kick ass scientists. MIT student Lu McMustton has been attending the prestigious MIT where she’s not only an awesome scientist but an avid metal fan. “Don’t let my sweet demeanor throw you off”, says Lu. “I fucking love metal”, she says with a laugh. “The heavier the better but none of that death metal shit. Anyone can scream but it takes real talent to be Death Angel!” Lu has been a metal fan since she first hearing Metallica at the age of 4 in 1999. By the time she was truly old enough to dive into metal as a teenager, that was when she realized that there was a whole past life of heavy metal that she sadly missed out on.
“I totally missed the boat. It’s insane for me to think that there was a time where there was no Buckcherry, Korn wasn’t even a thought, and Metallica didn’t suck.” Lu longed for those days as she tirelessly listened to those classic metal albums and then it finally hit her. “I’ll go back in time” says Lu. For the last 4 1/2 years, Lu has worked 18 hours a day and finally came up with the appropriate algorithm to achieve time travel. She couldn’t give us the details on what the device was but according to Lu, “It sure as fuck isn’t a Delorean or a fucking phone booth whatever the fuck that is.”
So what is Lu planning to do now that she can travel back in time? “I’m going to go back to when Metallica didn’t suck. This bullshit that everyone is raving about lately. These songs are the best they’ve put out since what? Load? Fuck that. I want Ride the Lightning goddamnit. I want Cliff Fucking Burton and I’m gonna get it.” With this power though, will she try and alter time in the way things happened? “Yes” says Lu. “I’m gonna make sure that Cliff never gets on that bus. I’m also going to make sure that Limp Bizkit never happens and I’m going to push Ozzy over and make him bust his hip so that he REALLY has to retire.” When we asked if that was a bit brutal she said, “If it’s too brutal for you. You’re not fucking metal” and then threw a beaker at us.
Best of luck to Lu on her voyage. We asked to her make this site Blabbermouth but we’ll see if she comes through.