Jason Bonham Now Accepting Applications for Drum Instructors

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“Does anyone here know how to play these things?

Son of legendary (and very much dead) Led Zeppelin drummer Jason Bonham has had quite a career.  With his multi-platinum band in the 90’s Bonham… oh wait.  They didn’t go platinum.  Ok, well, how about his, well, his gig in Foreigner?  Ok, hmm… Black Country Communion?  Oh well, you know who the fucking guy is.  He’s been traveling around the world disregarding timekeeping as he plows his way moderately through the hits of Led Zeppelin with Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience.

“I figured that since I wasn’t making any bloody money playing me own songs with Bonham or playing some shitty Foreigner songs, I may as well do me father’s stuff. I still think Mad Hatter is an amazing and overlooked album. You all fucked up on missing that one.”

When reminded that he was in Black Country Communion he responded with, “Bloody hell.  I guess I was.  Huh…  Anyways, I’m finally ready to take things to the next level and I’m going to finally start accepting applications for drum instructors.”

At this point, we scratched our heads.  Did Jason mean that he was accepting students?  “No, you bloody wanker.  I’m taking me drum lessons aight?  I’m tired of people pokin’ fun at me playin’ and always saying I’m a lousy drummer.  I’ll show them.  I’m going to take me some lessons and I’ll “Moby Dick” better than anybody and you can count on that.”

We reached out to the other members of Led Zeppelin.  Robert Plant said, “Peace and Love”, John Paul Jones said, “LOL”, and Jimmy Page said, “Modern morality and manners suppress all natural instincts, keep people ignorant of the facts of nature and make them fighting drunk on bogey tales.” We’re not sure what the fuck that means. We reach out to John Bonham for a comment but he’s dead.

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