Tag Archives: LA Guns

Smithsonian Adds Former L.A. Guns Drummer Steve Riley to Latest Archaeological Findings

Former W.A.S.P drummer Steve Riley has been added to the Smithsonian Institutes Archaeological Department for carbon dating and extensive research.  Smithsonian scientist Jonathan Kidd told Over the Top Metal News, “This is one of the most remarkable findings hands down.  I mean, this guy is old.  REALLY old.  How old?  We’re not sure but this just may be the first living, breathing mummy that the world has ever known that isn’t in a horror movie.  It’s remarkable.”

When asked what the Smithsonian plans to do with Riley, Kidd replied, “We are going to try our best to get to the bottom of this mystery.  All he seems to live on is cheap whiskey and cigarettes so as long as we keep him pumped with those, we can poke and prod all day.  We have already done some carbon dating on Riley and it’s my guess that the results will come back that he was hand drummer in Egypt sometime around 3000 BC.  How he’s still alive is baffling us here at the institute.”

Riley was recent ousted from the newly reunited L.A. Guns probably because he’s way old and they don’t wanna be seen with any ugly old dude.


LA Guns To Tour in 2017 With No Band Members

LA Guns Warming Up For Their 2017 Tour

LA Guns Warming Up For Their 2017 Tour

It has been announced that LA Guns will hit the road in 2017 with no band members.  We spoke with former/current/former LA Guns vocalist Phil Lewis and this is what he had to say.

“Well, so Tracii Guns quit LA Guns a long time ago as you know so it was me and Steve Riley and two other blokes.  Then Riley quit and then I quit LA Guns to join LA Guns with Tracii Guns.  But then I quit LA Guns.  I woke up this morning not really sure where the fuck I am but I’m pretty sure I quit two different bands with same name three times meaning I’m not in a band.  Then I see that LA Guns is going on tour but nobody’s in the band.  I wish them luck.”

Also joining the bill will be Bobby Blotzer’s Ratt which features only Blotzer standing at the mic, drinking beer, and reminding the audience that at one time he played to 20,000 people a night.

Dates to be released soon.