Tag Archives: Metallica

Metallica Fans Feel Rejected After The Recent Release of an Album That Doesn’t Suck.

Image result for group of teens cryingMetallica fans are in shock after the release of Metallica’s much anticipated release, Hardwired… To Self Destruct.  When a copy of the album reached the Over The Top office, we here were pretty impressed with what we heard.  The fact that we were able to listen to this album from start to finish and actually kind of dig it, we realized that we should probably take to the streets.  Over the Top intern (receiving 2 college credits) Cass Shandiki hit the streets and went to the nearest Hot Topic store to talk to Metallica fans regarding their thoughts of the new album.

“Man, I just don’t get it”, says 21 year old Jake Supburo.   “They were my favorite band for so long but this album just sucks.  It just sounds so well produced.  They’re losing their edge.”

25 year old fan Emily Ruhgbuhrn refused to play it so safely.  “Fuck those guys.  What the fuck happened to the band?  They sound so fucking old.  I miss their more classic sound like Load and Re-Load.  This new thing they’re doing just pisses me off.  I exchanged my CD and go the latest Asking Alexandria album.  Now that is real fucking metal.”

35 year old Blake Dublewhyde was just, “… disappointed that Hatfield ain’t sayin’ “YEAH” all that much.” 

From the looks of it, Metallica may be losing the bulk of their fanbase with this new release which can only mean a downward decline for the band.  We will keep an eye on this story as it progresses.

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Metallica Fan at MIT Invents Time Machine So She Can Go Back to When Metallica Didn’t Suck

Lu McMustton: Scientist, All Around Bad Ass, Metal as Fuck.

Lu McMustton: Scientist, All Around Bad Ass, Metal as Fuck.

Who the fuck ever said that girls can’t kick ass?  Well, not only can they kick ass at being kick ass, they can kick ass at being kick ass scientists.  MIT student Lu McMustton has been attending the prestigious MIT where she’s not only an awesome scientist but an avid metal fan.  “Don’t let my sweet demeanor throw you off”, says Lu.  “I fucking love metal”, she says with a laugh.  “The heavier the better but none of that death metal shit.  Anyone can scream but it takes real talent to be Death Angel!”  Lu has been a metal fan since she first hearing Metallica at the age of 4 in 1999.  By the time she was truly old enough to dive into metal as a teenager, that was when she realized that there was a whole past life of heavy metal that she sadly missed out on.

“I totally missed the boat.  It’s insane for me to think that there was a time where there was no Buckcherry, Korn wasn’t even a thought, and Metallica didn’t suck.”  Lu longed for those days as she tirelessly listened to those classic metal albums and then it finally hit her.  “I’ll go back in time” says Lu.  For the last 4 1/2 years, Lu has worked 18 hours a day and finally came up with the appropriate algorithm to achieve time travel.  She couldn’t give us the details on what the device was but according to Lu, “It sure as fuck isn’t a Delorean or a fucking phone booth whatever the fuck that is.”

So what is Lu planning to do now that she can travel back in time?  “I’m going to go back to when Metallica didn’t suck.  This bullshit that everyone is raving about lately.  These songs are the best they’ve put out since what?  Load?  Fuck that.  I want Ride the Lightning goddamnit.  I want Cliff Fucking Burton and I’m gonna get it.”  With this power though, will she try and alter time in the way things happened?  “Yes” says Lu.  “I’m gonna make sure that Cliff never gets on that bus.  I’m also going to make sure that Limp Bizkit never happens and I’m going to push Ozzy over and make him bust his hip so that he REALLY has to retire.”  When we asked if that was a bit brutal she said, “If it’s too brutal for you.  You’re not fucking metal” and then threw a beaker at us.

Best of luck to Lu on her voyage.  We asked to her make this site Blabbermouth but we’ll see if she comes through.


Megadeth To Perform Kill ‘Em All In It’s Entirety On Upcoming Tour

Megadeth has over the past few years made it a habit of performing some of their most iconic albums in their entirety live. Megadeth started it all back in 2010 with the 20th Anniversary of Rust In Peace. They then followed it up with a tour performing Countdown to Extinction in its entirety to rave reviews from fans and critics alike. The band followed that up with the amazing Super Collider album that had them making the best metal album since Iron Maiden’s Virtual XI. So where does Megadeth go from here? Well leave it to Over The Top Metal News to tell you all before anyone!

Our Arizona based correspondent Jim McGovney recently ran into Dave Mustaine in the produce aisle of Fry’s Grocery Store in Glendale, AZ and after giving Megadave himself the opportunity to pick out the perfect butternut squash approached him to try and get some 411 on what Megadeth has been up to. After Mustaine grilled Jim on his grocery choices and ridiculed him for the abundance of Poptarts in his cart, he was very excited to share some amazing news with him.

“Megadeth has been trying to figure out how to take everything to the next level. What can Megadeth do that will truly wow the fans and blow their minds? We’re going to be hitting the road in November and we’ll be performing Kill ‘Em All in its entirety.”

Jim reminded Mustaine that Kill ‘em All was actually a Metallica album to which Mustaine replied, “I know that dipshit. Maybe if you didn’t eat so many Poptarts you wouldn’t be so stupid. As you know, every song on Kill ‘em All I had a hand in creating so needless to say it might as well be a Megadeth album played by third rate imposters. Metallica can’t even play Kill ‘Em All so why not let a band who can actually pull it off do so? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?”

Awkwardly Jim said, “Look! Lars Ulrich!” and when Mustaine turned to look he ducked into the cereal aisle. Over The Top Metal News will have more on this developing story as soon as we can run into Dave Ellifson at one of his worship band’s performances.


Metallica’s James Hetfiled watches Cliff ’em All and asks, “Why is this band playing our songs?”

james-hetfield

“STOP STEALING MY SONGS”
says Hetfield to video clip of younger self.

 

It seems that James Hetfield is up in arms lately about some band who released a live DVD full of classic Metallica songs.  The problem is that it’s actually Metallica that he’s watching.  After watching the now legendary “Cliff ‘Em All” DVD, James Hetfiled demanded to be told who this band was.  Hetfiled exclaimed, “Who are these fucking pimple faced fucks playing MY songs?  This is ridiculous.  Look at the piss poor quality of these videos.  This is ridiculous and I can’t wait to tell Lars about this.  Lars Ulrich released a statement regarding this:

“I’ve seen this video and these guys are fucking with the wrong band.  You’d think these people would know that they are just ripping us off.  If they thought Napster had it bad, they ain’t seen nothing yet.  I do have to say that the band in these videos are tight and they’re fun to watch.  I just want to know who the fuck they are so we can get them.”

Lead guitarist Kirk Hammett didn’t want to end his live meditation session with the Cocteau Twins but did smile and nod as if to have made peace with the whole thing.

Bassist Robert Trujillo was out getting Hetfield’s dry cleaning and groceries so was unavailable for comment.