Tag Archives: Steve Riley

Smithsonian Adds Former L.A. Guns Drummer Steve Riley to Latest Archaeological Findings

Former W.A.S.P drummer Steve Riley has been added to the Smithsonian Institutes Archaeological Department for carbon dating and extensive research.  Smithsonian scientist Jonathan Kidd told Over the Top Metal News, “This is one of the most remarkable findings hands down.  I mean, this guy is old.  REALLY old.  How old?  We’re not sure but this just may be the first living, breathing mummy that the world has ever known that isn’t in a horror movie.  It’s remarkable.”

When asked what the Smithsonian plans to do with Riley, Kidd replied, “We are going to try our best to get to the bottom of this mystery.  All he seems to live on is cheap whiskey and cigarettes so as long as we keep him pumped with those, we can poke and prod all day.  We have already done some carbon dating on Riley and it’s my guess that the results will come back that he was hand drummer in Egypt sometime around 3000 BC.  How he’s still alive is baffling us here at the institute.”

Riley was recent ousted from the newly reunited L.A. Guns probably because he’s way old and they don’t wanna be seen with any ugly old dude.